What Do You Mean, Mom's the Word?

in Mother

I believe the old expression is, "mum's the word," which means to remain silent or tight-lipped.

If you're anything like me, "mum's the word" was the specific rule for those childhood times of:
- picking on our sister
- feeding my little brother a mud pie (he ate it!)
- smoking behind the barn
- driving when Mom and Dad weren't home
- sneaking booze and refilling the bottle with water
- sneaking out through the window at night
- sneaking in through the window early in the morning
- and a variety of other mischievous behaviour.

I haven't grown-up, however I have gained a few years of experience since then. Now, "Mom's the word" is a more appropriate phrase, and especially this month. And since you have, or had a Mom, I hope you appreciate her for her commitment to you.

Being a Mom is the very most important profession on this planet. And yet I am amazed at women who will remark, "Oh, I'm just a stay-at-home Mom."

Ponder this. Doesn't it take a remarkable person to accept a few brief minutes of sexual pleasure as advance payment for this long-term volunteer position? A Mom's job description includes:

- 9 months of gaining weight, nausea, and back pain;
- a few hours, or a full day of the most intense, gruelling, and physically demanding labour, with sweating, panting, pushing, and tearing of muscles;
- several years of wiping butts and tears;
- years of late-night curriculum planning, instantaneous lesson planning, teaching, evaluating, re-teaching, re-evaluating;
- years of coaching, motivating, and inspiring - sometimes successfully, sometimes wiping more tears;
- years of watching, waiting, and hoping that you've done a good job; and
- putting up with a male who often knows diddly-squat about the requirements and demands of the job.

Motherdom is a fascinating profession! And the existence of our society is dependent upon these kind, caring, loving people who accept the position. Yet it is a 24-hour/day, 365 day/year job that is highly overworked and underpaid (or non-paid). Many of the people who accept this position do it multiple times, each child being different, and all coming from the factory without an operator's manual.

My Mom, and your Mom, deserve special recognition, not just on Mother's Day, but everyday. Here are some things you and I can do to acknowledge our Moms.

1. Think about the positive qualities and traits that your Mom has (or had). I believe that most Moms bring their children into the world with an abundance of love, hoping for the very best for their child. What a noble and thoughtful gift they have given!

Did they make mistakes? I hope so because that's how they learned, and that's how you and I learn. This is an opportunity for you and me to learn to forgive ourselves for any less-than-positive thoughts about our Moms. They always made the best decisions with the information they had at the time.

2. Reflect on your own positive qualities and traits that you learned from your Mom. Through nature or nurture, you have accepted some of your Mom as a part of your own character. Talk about it with a partner or good friend. Cherish those "Mom" attributes and think of others that you can aspire to emulate in your life. I'm sure there are many if you take the time to think about them.

When you look in the mirror, are there "Mom" qualities that you don't like? This is an opportunity for you and me to learn to forgive ourselves for any less-than-positive thoughts about our Moms. They always made the best decisions with the information they had at the time.

3. Tell her about these positive things, honestly, openly, and with love. Call your Mom on the phone, or send her a heart-felt letter or card. Tell her about the positive things you've been thinking and thank her for her gifts to you.

Better yet, visit her, hug her, kiss her, and look deeply into her eyes to see the beauty that comes with being a Mom. Honestly thank her for the specific things you've learned from her.

If your Mom isn't alive, you can gain the same great benefits by closing your eyes, imagine and pretend you are with your Mom, and in your mind give her recognition for who she was and her gifts to you.

What if?

If you have a great relationship with your Mom, all of this is easy, and may be normal behaviour on Mother's Day. Why not do it on a more regular basis, just because you can? You don't need a specially-named-day to share love with your Mom, or anyone else for that matter.

If your relationship with your Mom has been strained, these steps are an opportunity for you to learn to forgive yourself for any less-than-positive thoughts about your Mom. She made the best decisions with the information she had at the time. These steps may be needed to heal hearts and approach the relationship anew. There is much to be gained by these small efforts.

What about material gifts?

Most Moms don't need, or want another Super-soaker mop, Garden-Magic-Fix-Anything tool, or even a box of chocolates. My perception is that the greatest gifts we can give them are our time, our honesty, our support, and our love - the same gifts they have given us.

What about you?

I'm curious. How are you going to use those amazing talents and abilities your Mom unselfishly gave you? Are you going to give lovingly back to her?

Please keep in mind: it's the small things that are the big things in a relationship.

Now, please excuse me, I going to make a very special phone call to my Mom. And I'll make another one on Mother's Day too.

Copyright © 2009

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Dan Ohler has 1 articles online

Author, relationship coach, and professional speaker, Dan Ohler, helps thousands of people every year to vastly enhance their professional and personal relationships. His book, Thinkin' Outside The Barn And Steppin' Into Fresh B.S. will challenge you to evaluate your own Belief System (B.S.) and choose to create your life by design, rather than by default.

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What Do You Mean, Mom's the Word?

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This article was published on 2010/04/03